Better Off
by Nature9000
Summary: As Freddie takes a walk, he thinks about the words his father spoke to him and considers the trust that he put in this man that had been gone for most of his life.


Better Off

Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly

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-READ AND ENJOY-

Freddie groaned and shut off his television, he had just been watching some anime show. It involved a kid who had a father that he hated for leaving him and his brother to fend for themselves before their mother passed on. Freddie thought it was unbelievable how the bastard returned and then he left _again_. He sighed and stood up from his seat, slowly brushing his shirt off. _"What's the point of a father, if all they do is shatter the trusts, the hopes, the dreams that you have?"_ Freddie thought as he pushed his hands into his pocket and walked out of his house.

He slowly trudged out of his apartments and moved down the street, not entirely knowing where he was headed. All he knew was the direction he was walking was to the park. He stopped halfway and contemplated whether he could 'complete' the journey or not. As his father so sneered once before. Freddie closed his eyes and scoffed as he continued walking. He thought of his father and let a growl escape his throat. "Pathetic." He looked up into the sky and frowned as he felt soft raindrops beginning to fall.

_"Damn this rain."_ Why was it, he wondered, that nothing around him was wet? He shook his head and continued to trudge toward the park. Mr. Benson, he had been gone, out of his life for so long. He returned only a few years ago, Freddie thought he was a good father. _"What a fool…for me to believe, to trust…" _He made it to the edge of the park and stared on at the soft grass in front of him. It wasn't wet, but he was. _"I hate the rain."_ Freddie pushed his hands further in his pockets and scowled as his father's words rang through his head.

_"Why can't you ever finish anything? I mean surely you could have done great if you could have continued!"_

_"You don't understand, dad. I can't-"_

_"No, I do understand. If you're not capable of doing this, what _are_ you capable of?"_

What did he know? He had only shown his face for a few years. Why was it that the second that he built Freddie's trust in him so high, that he had to go and shatter it? Like so many other things, he had to tear it down.

"Crap, that's all his care ever turned out to be." Through the whole conversation, his father's words were spoke with such disappointment, such anger, and such resentment. Freddie stopped walking and spotted a father and his son throwing fishing lines into the lake. Why hadn't his father ever been there to do that? The one who taught him how to fish, he hated. He turned away and looked over to see a father and his teenage son sitting at a chessboard in the park. _"I wouldn't even know if I could beat my father at chess…"_

Freddie rolled his eyes and walked forward, his fists clenched with anger and his body burned with pain. His father hadn't been there most of his life, and even when the man returned, he didn't do much other than call him up some times. Sure, the trust was slowly getting built. Sure, the man said he was proud of him. Now the instant Freddie begins to work on a project and can't finish it, the man shows his real colors. _"What was the point of ever trusting him, anyway? All he did was wreck it, it's like he left all over again."_

As Freddie continued to walk, he came across a boy playing with his mother. There was no father there to speak of. The boy looked at Freddie and smiled, recognizing him as someone he saw before. Freddie gave a slight smile and continued walking, only stopping when the little boy ran up to him and tugged on his shirt. He looked down as the boy gave a tilt of his head. "Hey, why do you look so sad?"

"I'm not…it's really nothing to worry about."

"But you are, my mommy says it's a good thing not to be sad." Freddie chuckled once and closed his eyes, he really didn't want to talk to this happy little child at the moment. Freddie opened his eyes and stared back into the boy's eyes, for a minute, he thought he saw himself in the little child.

"Tell me…where is your dad at? It's strange, this park is usually filled with fathers and their sons today…" It was father's day, so naturally, you wouldn't find a family at the park without a dad with them. The boy shrugged his shoulders and looked down.

"I don't know…"

"You don't know?"

"Mommy said he's gone, that he left us a long time ago." Freddie's eyebrows rose as he slowly crossed his arms together. "Maybe he'll come back, but I've never really had a father."

"Well let me tell you something…you're better off without one." The boy blinked and stared at Freddie with confusion. Why was he better off without a dad? It made no sense, _no one_ should be without a dad. "Do you even know his name?"

"No, but I think it started with an R…maybe a D. Mommy might know."

"Don't bother. I'll guarantee that you're better off not knowing. Take it from me…if he ever comes back, don't ever put your trust in him. Those types of dads leave then they come back, show you how trusting they can be, then _boom_, they shatter it. You are much better off." Freddie turned away and continued walking down the streets of the park, leaving the boy staring at him with wide and bewildered eyes. Was it true? Was the boy better off? Was _he_ better off? Had Freddie never met his dad, would anything really have changed? Had he never known his father or grew to trust him, would it have made a difference?

_"No, I would have been better off not knowing or putting my trust in him."_ At least that was one thing he was sure of. He would have been better off without all the hurt, the pain of his father ripping all that trust that Freddie had built up for him and shoving it right out of his ass. Better off. Just as Sam was better off without her dad, just as Carly was better off with Spencer and her father overseas, he would have been better off not ever being close enough to trust the man who was apparently his 'father.'

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I tried, but this was the only thing I could actually bring myself to write, oddly enough. Review if you want, they make me smile and dance around. Okay maybe not dancing around, but smiling at least ^_^.


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